Needing to Choose to Obey
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the verb try as make an attempt. The word has always bothered me. I don’t want to just try to obey God. I want to do it. I try to give it… Oops. I endeavor give it my all. I will obey God with all my heart, soul, and being. I fail sometimes, but still. I don’t want to just try.
To me, when I use the word try, it seems like I’m giving myself an out. It’s like I’m saying, “I will make some effort to do this, but I might not be able to.” But God does give us what we need to obey him. So instead of trying to obey, I want to choose to obey, and God will enable me to do so.
There came a point in my journey when God made clear that he wanted me to forgive those who had hurt me. I felt completely incapable of doing so. I wanted to obey God, but I didn’t want to forgive. This was an incredible struggle. In the end, I chose to obey God, confessed how I didn’t want or know how to forgive my abusers, and asked for God’s help. I kept praying, “I choose to obey you, God. I choose to forgive this person.” Eventually I could say, “I forgive this person.” I chose to obey, and God enabled me to forgive. He worked through me to make my obedience a reality.
I still do quite a bit of trying. I try to eat less, but I don’t. I try to get to bed earlier, but still stay up late. I try to keep God first and read my Bible and pray first thing in the morning, yet I find myself doing many worthless things before getting started. And I know exactly what my problem is. I’m trying instead of choosing then doing.
I realize this is only semantics, but it helps me be more conscious of the effort I put forth when making a decision to change. For me, I need to make deliberate choices then follow through with my choices and not just make an attempt. I don’t want to give myself an out, “I tried but couldn’t do it.”
I did find synonyms for try in a thesaurus. Some of the words made me think, “Yes, that’s what I want to do.” Others made me think, “That’s why trying isn’t enough.” Here is what I found at lexico.com:
Synonyms for Try
attempt, endeavor, make an effort, exert oneself, seek, strive, struggle, do one’s best, do one’s utmost, do all one can, undertake, aim, set out, take it on oneself, try one’s hand at
informal: have a bash, have a crack, have a go, have a shot, have a stab, give it one’s best shot, bend over backwards, lean over backwards, bust a gut, do one’s damnedest, pull out all the stops, go all out, go for broke, knock oneself out, break one’s neck, move heaven and earth
You’ll need to decide for yourself if try works for you. I personally tend to use the word when I’m not 100% committed to an idea. When I’m committed, I need to use language that conveys that I will do everything I possibly can to bring it about.
Doing My Best to Forgive
This all began for me with needing to forgive those who hurt me. I was certain that God wanted me to forgive, and I was just as certain that I didn’t want to. Did I really need to forgive my enemies? Scripture certainly indicates so. I found helpful verses on the website Open Bible (Editor: Stephen Smith. Publication date: Jun 7, 2021. Publisher: OpenBible.info.)
We are to love and pray for our enemies.
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? … Matthew 5:43-48
We are to do good for our enemies.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12: 17-21
We are to do good to those who hate us.
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Luke 6:27
We are to get rid of all bitterness, wrath and anger and forgive as Christ in God forgave us.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32
We need to forgive so God, our Father, will forgive us.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15
There are many more verses that speak of forgiveness. The bottom line for me, though, was I knew in my heart that God wanted me to forgive. I wanted to obey God and I needed to do more than try. I needed to choose to obey and allow God to work through me and enable me to do so. But first, I needed to make that choice.
My advice? Try your hardest to obey God. Endeavor to do so. Strive and do all you can. Choose to obey. God will equip you with what you need to obey. In my case, it was to forgive. What’s yours?