Experiencing the Difference Between Being Dependent on and Depending on God

We All Face Trials

We should not be surprised when we face trials. Jesus told us we would.

John 16:33

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

Yet I, for one, am still surprised when emotional or physical pain repeatedly finds its way into my life. I tend at these times to turn inward and dwell on it.

My Trials

My trials are not unique. I know many people struggle with far worse. I mention my trials for those of you who might be going through something similar. I have a number of medical issues in addition to suffering from chronic pain. Also, I have emotional struggles related to significant events that took place my childhood and young adult years. Additionally, we have struggled as a family with unemployment and related financial difficulties or other family issues.

Advice From My Pastor

I recently spoke with my pastor about my struggle with turning inward and dwelling on the negative. It will not come as a surprise that he suggested that I pray about it. But he knows me, and his suggestion to me went deeper and was more specific than that. Here is some of his advice for me:

1. Since it can take ninety days to form a habit, my pastor suggested that every day for ninety days I pray and ask God to help me with not turning inward, not dwelling on the negative, and not “sinking” into despair. 
2. When I begin to focus inward or have negative thoughts, I was to pray  that God would change my perspective and thinking.
3. I was to ask God to erase my doubt and insecurity.
4. I was to ask each day to be filled with the Holy Spirit so as to keep my mind and heart in the best place.
5. I was to ask God’s help in this battle for my mind.

God’s Love for Me

So I began this two weeks ago, praying for what I wrote above and also about very specific situations. The very first thing that became clearer to me was the deepness of God’s love for me individually and personally. This is no small thing. The Lod God Almighty, Creator of the Universe, Sovereign Ruler of all, hears my prayers and responds lovingly to me. You need to understand that I brought some petty issues to God, issues that weighed on me and that I didn’t know how to handle, but they were of the small, petty variety. But God loves me enough to show me how to respond, and He took care of the rest. And instead of being drawn into myself, God drew me lwith great love into His presence. There is no better place to be than in the presence of out God.

What I Realized About Myself

I am dependent on God, totally and completely dependent on God, whether or not I choose to be and whether or not I acknowledge it. It is reality. Depending on God is another matter. In the past, I have asked for God’s help, and then proceeded to try to solve my problem in my own strength. This time I went to God realizing I couldn’t solve my problems. I disparately needed God to help me because I couldn’t do it and neither could anyone else. I was finally relying and depending on God.

God’s Goodness and Kindness

I am just under two weeks into my 90 days, but relying on God, really depending on Him has changed everything for me. Each and every day God has revealed His love, His goodness, and kindness to me both during prayer and His response to my prayer. When God answers my prayer, he does so in miraculous ways. The answers may not seem dramatic to anyone else, but I know what I can and cannot do. These were miracles. 

I pray the following in regard to my trials:

1. That I remain strong in my trials .
2. That God will use my trials for His glory.
3. That I respond to my trials in ways that honor God and bring Him glory.

Additionally, I pray that God will show me how to respond to and share the love and grace He has showered on me these last two weeks. They have been too big a kindness to keep to myself.  

Delighting in God

God is my soul’s satisfaction and my heart’s delight. Through answered prayer and a keener awareness of His presence with me throughout my day, God has truly been my soul’s desire. I am now able, like never before, to trust and depend on God.

Dear Father God,

You are so good, so kind, and so loving. You welcome us before Your throne of grace and into Your presence so as to protect us and bless us and help us become the people You created us to be.

Thank You for using our trials to draw us closer to You. Thank You for the opportunities that You give us to depend on and learn from You, to experience Your great love for us in deeper ways, and to honor and glorify You during our trials.

We love You, dearest  Father for who You are and for all You do. We love You with all that we are.

It’s in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, that we come before You and pray.

Your daughter,

Joy K.

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